


Find A Way

by ThereIsNoTragedyInThat



Series: A Thousand Futures of Me and You [190]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Communication, Don't copy to another site, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Shot, POV Stephen Strange, Short & Sweet, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 06:02:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20616173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat/pseuds/ThereIsNoTragedyInThat
Summary: Stephen and Tony need to reassure each other.





	Find A Way

Stephen stepped through his portal and into the dimly lit kitchen of Tony’s penthouse. Exhaustion made his limbs feel heavy and dirt caked his skin in the most unflattering way, but for that, he was incredibly glad to be home. It had been a difficult week, one that had given him more then a few scrapes and bruises and left him yearning for familiarity and comfort.

Only, Stephen’s luck had never been that good.

As the Cloak slipped from his shoulders and disappeared into the home, Stephen turned to follow, only to be arrested by the sight before him. Sitting at the small breakfast table, head down and cup of coffee abandoned, was Tony. It was obvious he’d been up for hours, sweatpants and T-shirt the only sign he might consider going to bed.

“Tony?”

He looked up though it was difficult to see his eyes. Stephen wished he could, finding them to be expressive enough to tell him everything he needs to know. Then again…there was nothing new to discover. As though there were a ticking clock, counting down to some unforeseen catastrophe, Stephen found his stomach twisting as he made his way over to the empty chair across from Tony.

That earned him a small smirk, tinged with emotion that Stephen felt keenly. Things had been out of sorts for awhile and he couldn’t help but wonder if this latest journey had been the final straw, if Tony had decided he could no longer stand his empty bed and quiet mornings. Stephen wouldn’t blame him, couldn’t bear it himself half the time.

“Are you ok?”

The inquiry was soft, earnest, tinged with a real sincerity that gave Stephen a ridiculous amount of hope, “I am.”

Tony nodded, “good.”

Silence descended upon them and Stephen was so tired. Usually, he’d come home, crawl into bed next to Tony and in the morning would come the gentle interrogation, when they both could bear it. Something had changed and Stephen feared he wouldn’t be able to handle the consequences.

Tony at least, seemed to sense his uncertainty.

“I missed you. It was a long week.”

“It was,” Tony sighed, and Stephen cursed his inability to say what needed to be said. “Have you made up your mind?”

Tony tensed where he sat, looking at Stephen who couldn’t meet his gaze for long. Before he had left, words had been exchanged. Angry and bitter they’d finally said how they felt, the good and the bad. The realization they had come to…was that a decision needed to be made, that things had changed, and they no longer were confident in the future they had hoped for, with each other.

A hand, sturdy and strong landed overtop of Stephen’s trembling one. This time, he wasn’t entirely sure it was because of the nerve damage. All the same, the warmth of it made him want to cry. He looked away instead, not wanting to make it harder for either of them.

“I wish…well I wish I didn’t care so much.”

Stephen inhaled shakily, “me too.”

“Stephen,” Tony cut off, shaking his head and frowning. “There is no fixing this is there?”

Honesty. That was the last thing they promised each other, if all else failed, “no, I don’t think so.”

They were both worn thin. Growing older had changed all the things they used to be so alright with in the beginning. It used to be ok they couldn’t live together, that Stephen could disappear for weeks at a time, that their lives were constantly in danger…that they were lonely. But now, well now that loneliness was tinged with something else, something heartbreaking. The older you became the more mortality begins to taunt you and loving someone isn’t as important as someone simply being there, present, as you live out your days.

“Stephen. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Simple words. Too much emotion.

Tony’s hand squeezed his gently, mindful as ever of scars and pain only growing more acutely as they grew older. They were stuck, decidedly stuck in their situation. Stephen wouldn’t lie and say he’d spend less time away, that he’d be more present, that he could offer him a normal existence. It wouldn’t be fair. He’d die as Sorcerer Supreme and there was no changing that.

“Tony, its alright you know. You’ve always been allowed to change your mind.”

His jaw worked for moment, head shaking again, “except I haven’t. I still love you and I still miss you and worry about you and can’t imagine living a life where I no longer get to see you, or hold you, or tell you I love you.”

Stephen took a deep breath, “that doesn’t mean its enough.”

“Stephen, stop,” he met his lover’s eyes. “Stop holding back. Tell me you love me, and I’ll live with the rest.”

Stephen’s eyes stung, heart aching in a way that felt a step from shattering, “it isn’t fair to you.”

Tony forced a smile, “when has life ever been fair to me?”

“We’ll just end up here again in a few months, years time.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

Stephen’s free hand came up to cover his eyes, unwilling to let the tears fall as he held back everything he wanted to say. He wanted Tony to be happy, not lonely and he couldn’t bear the thought of being the reason he was. When Stephen had left for this last dimensional travel, he’d gone with the full expectation that when he returned, it might be to a goodbye instead of a hello.

The hand Tony held lifted until lips could be felt gracing his skin, warm breath ghosting across the chilled limb, “Stephen,” he murmured. “Tell me you love me.”

He’d never been able to resist that request. Not after Titan and nightmares and shared dinners and sweaty nights. Stephen had given Tony the only thing he had; his heart. There was nothing else he could promise the man.

“Every time I’m away, I think only of coming home. I think of our bed and your body next to mine. I think of the stories you’ll tell me and that arrogant all-knowing attitude. I think about simply seeing you and the possibility of it being the last time. I love you and its all I have when I leave and sometimes it hurts as though you’re crushing my heart in your fist, even knowing I’ll have to leave again.”

There was, of course, the sound of Tony standing. He came over to Stephen and wrapped his arms around his body from behind his chair, Tony chin rest in Stephen’s hair as he spoke, “I fell in love with you because of your sense of duty. I knew that duty would keep you from staying with me and that…well that’s alright. I accepted it a long time ago and when I’m lonely its easy to forget how much that part of you means to me.”

Stephen leaned back into his touch. Tried to ignore the ache inside him, both painful and sweet at the same time. They were bound to argue about it again, fight and yell and insult but they always ended up back here, in each other’s arms, making the same promises as the day they married and meaning them as if not a single moment had passed from then to now.

“I love you.”

“Thank you.”


End file.
